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A Few Words From Your Sponsor
Hi! I'm David. And I'm incredible. A while back, during a compliment-gone-hilarious someone once told me that I was THE Incredible D-A-V. My guess is that Dave was the intended destination for that little name-game, but as I never liked the name Dave, Dav stuck.
I'll write about all sorts of stuff in this blog, probably only 1/3 of it will be of any interest at any given time. Keep coming back...we'll see what we can find out about each other.
Dec
13
Dear Neighbors in NoDa,
I wanted to take a moment and let you know how much I enjoy spending time with you. I don’t care what other people say. I don’t think you’re posing as Avant Garde folk simply as a means of getting the attention that your petty-bourgeoise parent’s didn’t lavish you with. I understand that you’re making Bohemia, and I applaud you for it.
But I have one quick thought:
The next time your dog — be it a Rottweiler, Doberman or German Shepherd — isn’t on a leash and makes a lunge towards my small, adorable, well-behaved, leashed dog, I will not take two seconds to think about clobbering it’s head in with a rock. I’m sure your dog is wonderful and treats you well. Or maybe it’s a monster…It doesn’t really matter. Bringing an animal in from outside and naming it Oswald or Petunia or whatever-you-want does not, I repeat DOES NOT, make it capable of rational thought. Scolding an angry dog does very little good when he is using my dog’s leg bones as toothpicks.
On a side note, you may not have noticed that we live in apartments and don’t have a yard. Or a herd of buffalo to hunt. Although Rottweiler’s add a certain amount of “Street Cred” to your image, I’m not sure that thugging up NoDa with not-very-smart, aggressive, over-powered dogs is a very good idea. Just a thought.
I’m serious, by the way, about the rock. You’ve been warned assholes.
Yours very truly,
David
edit:
Lindsey made a fair point in her comment. I will only clobber the dog if really threatened. Scouts honor. I will, however, clobber the dog’s owners on the head with a rock the next time I see a vicious horse that isn’t on a leash.
Comments
3 Responses to “Bark.”
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Before you don’t think twice about clobbering an defenseless animal’s head in with a rock, maybe have a word with the dogs’ owners’ instead. I take offense to harming animals, even if you aren’t that serious about it.
@ Lindsey:
Fair point.
I’ve seen those monsters that are called dogs you’re talking about. Yikes.
Write emails….to police, animal control, health dept, reps, city council - ASPCA ASAP! I say $500 fines for leash law violations and ENFORCEMENT!
Leash your damn dogs ppl!